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frankie boyle michael gove quotes

frankie boyle michael gove quotes

When people say “The mask has slipped!” after various cabinet gaffes, there must be a moment when the minister wonders whether they have accidentally come out wearing one of the actual masks they wear to the various Eyes Wide Shut-style parties that dot their social calendar at this time of year; their fingers moving reflexively towards their face to see if they’ve worn the head of a golden ibis to talk to Phillip Schofield. >> Frankie Boyle on *cough* child enthusiasm… Why do paedophiles always have beards and glasses? The whole Corbyn thing, at its best, is a sort of Ealing comedy about some old bloke who gets called off his allotment to try to form a government, but it needs to promise a third act where something actually happens. Usually people with levels of mental activity as low as Johnson’s aren’t surrounded by advisers, but their weeping parents and a member of their favourite boy band. This confused sex yeti has been booed by nurses: people who can remove a dressing, examine a festering wound, and still look up at you with a smile. Aggression isn’t a good look for him, shifting Corbyn from Rabbit in Winnie the Pooh towards the territory where you’d expect his face to be captioned with “police suspect the real figure may be much higher”. With a delivery best approximated as a living checklist of stroke warnings, his bumbling posho shtick almost resembles buffering, a kind of 3G Wodehouse. © The Poke 2020   |   T&C's   |   Cookie Policy  |   Privacy Policy  |   Contact Us, John Sessions has died aged 67 and his Alan Rickman impression is making people laugh all over again. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome? On the most Scottish thing he’d ever seen: I was going through a town called Bathgate at around 11 o’clock at night. I think Labour presents itself better during elections because it is forced to be more practical. A woman who’s brainier than Kurt Cobain’s garage wall, it’s Carol Vorderman! Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot but look at him now! Frankie Boyle Live: Excited for You to See and Hate This was filmed during his first tour of Scotland in 12 years, which took place in 2019 (just in case you were concerned about social Frankie is no stranger to controversy – and we’ve selected 28 of his rudest, funniest comments for your reading pleasure, so take it away Frankie! Now he’s hardly even remarkable. By The … Christmas seems a strange time for a Tory government to call an election; possibly they guessed that it would be hard for Labour to sell hope in winter; possibly they judged that goodwill to all men would be at its lowest after people had endured a December of accidentally answering the door to a canvasser because they thought it was an Amazon package. "[Rees-Mogg] So weird and elongated, like his mum was too posh to dilate. I suggest we all vote accordingly, and try to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is. It quickly became clear that she had the gravitas of a re-education camp supply teacher, and was launching a kind of charm retreat that seemed to involve loans for renting flats and permanent austerity. It’s perfectly obvious why Johnson has been able to take power: he has an instinctive grasp on Brexit as rightwing eschatology, and he’s used to getting his own way, be it in the halls of Westminster or elbowing siblings off of nanny’s nipples. The Conservative manifesto contains elements of both Thatcherism and Reaganism, in that it seems to have been written by someone with dementia. He probably just thinks Tony Blair’s put on weight and had a mild stroke. What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? It’s interesting that someone who thinks ordinary people lack common sense is so heavily invested in upholding the result of a referendum, but like so many lesser ironies in this election, we simply don’t have the time. Of course, Labour has been monstered in the media throughout the campaign, and largely been judged by different standards than the Conservatives. Someone else who will still be here after the Rapture is the Brexit party’s Nigel Farage. I don’t want to end on a note of pessimism. If 434 MPs vote for a general election, we instantly get one; if 0.14% of the populace vote for Boris Johnson, we instantly get him; but if 52% of the electorate vote for Brexit, they get three years of what feels like trying to shit out a pool table. Labour’s campaign also demonstrates the limits of social media compared with establishment media power. In Scotland, people are just worried in case they have to close Poundstretcher. Take Michael Gove, a revanchist endorsement of the science of physiognomy. Then again, Conservatives would say that the story of Christmas chimes with their values, as it involves a pregnant refugee being treated quite badly. Normally in a general election, there’s so little mention of Scotland it’s like watching coverage of a major football tournament, but Labour seemed pointlessly determined to get across the message that they would deny a second independence referendum. 50 of Frankie Boyle's funniest jokes News And that we don’t know why we’re here, but we do know that 20 miles up it’s freezing cold, it’s a freezing cold universe, but here we have this thing called love, which is our only defence, really, against all that cold, and that it’s a very brief interval and that, when it’s over, I think you’re probably always blindsided by it.”. Some might see misogyny in this reaction to her, but I’m fairly sure I just hate her for being from Milngavie. That Raab, the flesh suit of a sentient virus with a forehead vein like a B&B kettle-cord, is somehow the moral heart of this enterprise tells you all you need to know. He's the fucking prime minister. ‘In any other era Michael Gove would be seen as a uniquely unctuous, unlikable and profoundly talentless figure. It’s depressing to think how many polling stations are in schools, and how many people will vote Conservative after walking past a motivational rainbow. Frankie Boyle sums up Johnson nicely.#LiarJohnson #ToryTreason #ToryBritain, Boris Johnson Refuses To Apologise For Hillsborough Comments In Parliament, Boris Johnson Will Oppose Marcus Rashford's Plea To Feed Hungry Children, Jon Snow Criticises Boris Johnson For Way He Handled Coronavirus Diagnosis, The Rewind Recommends: 3 Things To Watch/Read/Listen To Today, Brendan Rodgers' Pre-Match Interview Was Very Refreshing. No matter who wins, both teams, and all the fans, are losers. Some other choice cuts involved his take on immigration in the UK- "Imagine what it’s like being an immigrant in Britain ..., being told you need to integrate more by people who spend their holidays pointing at pictures of egg and chips on the menu"  - and Theresa May's tenure as Prime Minister having "all the authority of the 'Do Not Tumble Dry’ label". Kurt Vonnegut asked his adult son what he thought the meaning of life was, and his son replied: “We are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is.” The second is what David Chase, the creator of The Sopranos, said about the ending of the final episode: “Well, what Tony should have been thinking, I guess, and what we all should be thinking – although we can’t live that way – is that life is really short. And there are good times in it and there are bad times in it. Because we all get to sit on the mountains and watch the English drown. Having a gang-bang in Scotland in the winter is like playing Pass The Parcel: there’s that many layers! As we saw in Stanley Johnson’s Pinocchio gaffe, there is a problem with our elites programming their traumatised children with the idea that they are born to rule. The English are worried about the Euro being brought in because of loss of national identity and rising prices. Dominic Cummings looks like he works in television (which I think might be the worst thing you can say about anyone), has the air of a startled testicle, and the name of a character in a porn parody of The Talented Mr Ripley (“The Talentless Fister Ripped Me”). It’s difficult to keep lying convincingly about things you’ve convinced yourself your audience are too stupid to notice. As the body politic convulses, as the abyss avoids our gaze, we near the end of another election at the behest of a political class that has paid as much attention to David Cameron’s fixed terms as he did to people with emphysema slowly dying over a wood lathe. He looks like he owns the laboratory that Michael Gove escaped from," he said. A bin bag of albino body parts. (on MOCK THE WEEK) Hello and welcome to Working Lunch, a show for people who are so good at business they’re sat at home watching TV in the middle of the day. Perhaps in a few years our troops will reflect on what a harmless enemy Corbyn actually was, as they stare up at an AI minotaur, pinning them to the floor with a stainless steel hoof and holding their extracted vascular system aloft like a Ford Focus wiring-loom. The tragedy is that if Oscar Pistorius had no arms, this would never have happened. She looks like someone who’s looking at themselves in the back of a spoon. He then took out his keys and went inside. I thought one of the advantages of the Brexit vote was that he might disappear; having him back in public life is a bit like watching a suicide bomber doing a comeback tour. Cricket. The thing that nobody really said about Rebecca Adlington is that she looks pretty weird. Frankie Boyle sums up Johnson nicely. He looks like a sad face that someone has drawn onto their scrotum. In all likelihood, you’ll be praying that they prorogue the next parliament. We sent Prince Harry to Afghanistan. From a Dickensian Tory cabinet to the ghosts of Brexit promises past, the comedian brings you his take on the election, Last modified on Mon 3 Feb 2020 12.41 GMT. And there was a guy leaning and pissing against a front door.

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